Untainted
You touched my skin and left me untainted
You touched my heart but took it with you
You dropped me but I didn't break
You bent my life and left me bleeding.
Courtney Roach
November 30 - December 5, 2004
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A Hunger In Me
There is a hunger in me
Like no other
My body yearns
For the danger in you
You smile as you see my eyes
Seeing your black heart and soul
But I'll know forever
That the blackness before me
Is my own sweet illusion.
Courtney Roach
December 5, 2004
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Born To Run
I'll make fire in this burdened ocean I'm too deep within
I'll make peace with the mermaids I'm swimming with
I'll bloom too late and I'll make you unhappy
And you'll take away my smile and drown me in this already troubled ocean
You can suffocate me with your charm and fake it all you want
But I was born with my intentions
And I was born to run
I'll make time in this chaotic world so-called my life
I'll make room for you if I ever feel like waiting
I'll bloom into the flower you could never be
And you'll tear apart my beauty and lose me in this already crazy world
You can suffocate me with your charm and fake it all you want
But I was born with my intentions
And I was born to run
I came into this world without a name
But not too soon, I threw myself into this flame
I'm yours no longer
I won't play your stupid game.
Courtney Roach
December 5, 2004
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One Lie-
The red hot fire in your eyes
Is burning more than my nine lives
And as the beauty in those roses die
I will sink with thee in this one lie.
Courtney Roach
December 8-9, 2004
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Blue Moon-
Open your eyes
I wonder what you'll crave today
Tonight
The blue moon in the starry sky
makes me realize I don't know you
But I fear you
And your eyes
That you won't open
Not for anyone
And this chocolate cake I lick
from my plate
tastes sweeter than you'll ever
know of me.
Courtney Roach
December 9, 2004
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Best Wishes-
Look closer at the sun
I really do hope it blinds you
And makes you bleed from the eyes
The eyes that you refuse to lay upon me
May your best wishes be with you
For you will need them to get by
But who am I to say
that you shall need them?
May you dream of better things
this night
For you will wake with your last
breath
And your last dream will live on
in the grave that I did not
dig
for
you
And your best wishes.
Courtney Roach
December 9, 2004
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Graveyard-
The graveyard where my dreams
all die
And sink into their nothingness
The graveyard where the ghosts
all lie
And re-live their dark days
I look into the moon
as it tells me your story
And I wish I were her
for just one moment
To know what it is like
for you to speak
So I go to my graveyard
Where I sit and I stare
and wonder what it would be like
to lie with these ghosts.
Courtney Roach
December 10, 2004
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Her-
All my insides have turned inside-out
I just had to let you know
I realize that you see more beauty in her
I have to make myself go
Know that you have stabbed my heart too many times
With your truth
The shades of grey that shadow your face
Outline every inch of what has made me crazy
Your footsteps have traced their way back
inside my heart
But I don't know if I could ever love you the same.
Courtney Roach
December 10, 2004
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Do You Know Where I Hide-
Screaming
Thinking
Loving
Running
I can't make up my mind
Silence
Reasoning
Hurting
Wandering
I wonder what I shall find
Crying
Wishing
Starving
Digging
Do you know where I hide?
Sobbing
Believing
Wanting
Dying
Would you love me if I were to sleep forever?
Courtney Roach
December 10, 2004
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Mistakes-
I rid my heart of sorrow
And rid my mind of patience
I close my eyes to sleep
What do I see but darkness?
The growing light around my heart
Tells of truth and pain
And I don't know where I stand
With all this lying in my head
Where did my mistakes begin?
Courtney Roach
?-December 14, 2004
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Untitled-
If thou shall feel just one burning flame of passion
Would you look into the eyes that carry your fears?
Courtney Roach
December 20, 2004
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Free To Love-
I'm here alone inside my head
Think of me on your way out
And as you mend my broken heart
Try not to realize you are lonely too
I'm watching candles flicker in the darkness
And I see your shadow as it runs
The beauty in your eyes shows of tears
And you bleed a pureness like no other
As you meet me in the moonlight, you begin to wonder
The day is nearly over and my pain is nearly dead
And truth within my heart begins to surface
I realize that my heart is free to love.
Courtney Roach
December 23, 2004
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This Day-
This day should be happy
But tension is clear
And sadness is obvious
Like the white blanket beneath us
The air is so heavy
And our skin is so cold
But I feel our hearts warming
As our destination is near.
Courtney Roach
December 25, 2004
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Photograph-
Your misery is shown in the picture I took
Your eyes filled with tears
Your smile turned down
Your ghost in the background
Telling me of your past
This photograph is burning in the flames
The flames you placed with your secrets
I can't stand these lies you buried in the ground
And won't let out
I took a new picture.
Courtney Roach
December 26, 2004
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They See Me-
How can I even look at myself anymore
They see me like I don't see me
They see me laugh
They see me happy
But they never see me cry
They never see me sad
They see me like I don't see me
I may need a new mask.
Courtney Roach
December 29, 2004
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From A Distance-
Running and screaming inside of my head
But no one can read my mind
And I refuse to let go of my privacy
I watch myself from a distance being tortured
My heart is being sheltered
I wish they'd just let it be trampled upon
Maybe then I'd be gone and never have to hurt again.
Courtney roach
December 29, 2004
