PITCH BLACK
Dancing and prancing around myself
As the rain falls and dampens my hair
And your tears fall to dampen my spirits
I throw my hands into the sky
To touch the stars that give me life
I bring your heart into my hands
And crush it in my palms
The sockets of your pitch black eyes
Drain the tears from within
Blood falls from my mouth
As I tell you what is true
You lit it with a blazing fire
And left me standing there
Burning and melting
And crushed in your palms
Courtney Roach
September 7, 2004
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LOOKING DOWN
I'm standing on the ceiling
Looking down upon my life
You're walking down below me
And I think I've caught your eye
Do you remember what it was like
Before you even saw me?
Can you replace me in an instant
Just like you did with her?
I'll watch you and I'll hide from her
But you'll never see inside
You'll never have the love you want
You'll always be deprived.
Courtney Roach
September 8, 2004
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HAUNTED DREAMS
I've ripped your soul out from its place
And left its innocence alone
My sadistic mind will never heal
And neither will your eyes
My laugh will never hold you safely
And if you get the chance to sleep
I'll haunt you in your dreams
Until you can't wake up again
Courtney Roach
September 8, 2004
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BREAK MY HEART
I've told you that your love won't break
And you won't break my heart
For if you do
I'll lunge at you
And tear your skin apart
Courtney Roach
September 8, 2004
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LOOK AT ME
Look at me
Can you see within my hollow eyes?
I believe your words are true
And I believe my love for you.
Courtney Roach
September 8, 2003
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A NEW MASK
Lick my face away
And replace me with a brand new day
Keep my wounds so dry
So the pain will never go away
My eyes so wide
Inside my head
See much more than they've wanted
It's time to put a new mask on
And replace the candy coated memories
Courtney Roach
September 8, 2004
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KINDLED
I place my kindled hand upon
The thickness of the wall
Where I can feel the fire burning
And rip the puzzle into pieces
Your teeth show through your smile
I can see them burning too
Your ebony eyes and my bloody tears
Will mix with your not so gentle hands
To form the monster that you are.
Courtney Roach
September 9, 2004
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DREAMING
I smell your breath in the darkness
As I lie alone in my own tears
I stare myself to sleep
Shaking as I do so
My eyes are open
As I dream of your face
Lit up in the morning sun
I realize I am not sleeping
You're standing there before me
Waiting for me to stop dreaming.
Courtney Roach
September 12, 2004
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THINKING YOU'VE LIED
Your lips are parted slightly
Waiting for my answer
My jaw has fallen to the floor
Astonishing as it gets
My tongue is tied
Thinking you've lied
But really, you just love me
My feet slip underneath me
I feel unconscious
My eyes have closed
Scary as it may seem
I slip into my mind
Thinking you've lied
But really, you just killed me.
Courtney Roach
September 12, 2004
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OPEN WATER
I came into this world
Crying
You say that you can't see me
Dying
But all I hear from you is
Lying
Will your lips ever stop talking
Stop making room to breathe
Will your eyes ever stop searching
Stop looking through my body
I lay myself upon the ground
Bury me in the sand
Along with all your lies
Carry me like a newborn
Away from all the mistakes you chose for me
When I walk, my feet sink in the ground
Always deeper every day
Your lungs are blue
Breathing cold air
Treading open water
Swim until your arms hang limp
And your legs carry you no longer
You sink your way into the bottom
And lie there in your loneliness.
Courtney Roach
September 19, 2004
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LONG AGO
I threw my back down on the ground
To lie there while I think
About the dreams I had today
And cry my wounds away
The scars remain from long ago
When you said you loved me so
And stupid me believed you
When you said you'd never go.
Courtney Roach
September 20, 2004
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HIDDEN
Spread your pearly wings across my face to hide me from the hurt
I close my eyes and see the dark and truth and pain
You brought to me along with love and greatness
Your hand is hidden up your sleeve along with fear and lust
You're frightened in a sense that no one will ever feel the love for you
You crash your hand upon my face and wait for shouts of lies
I'm watching tears sprout from your eyes and carress my soul with thoughts
I hear your tongue make words I was never meant to hear
My ears are too young and innocent to ever know what you mean
When you say these words of trust and care
That I never want to believe
Courtney Roach
September 20, 2004
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EVERYTHING THAT'S WRONG IS FAKE
I am wise beyond my years
But I'm true enough to say I have some fears
My heart is swollen from your fingers wrapped around it tight enough
Everything that's right is wrong
And everything that's wrong is fake
I just tell myself I'm choking
And hope you're breaking too
Courtney Roach
September 20, 2004
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I AM
I am an innocent and malleable child
I wonder if I'll ever be stronger
I hear the rapid heartbeat in my chest
I see a vision in my mind
I want to see it clearly
I am an innocent and malleable child
I pretend not to hear the doubts in other peoples' minds
I feel threatened by their weakness
I touch the emptiness inside my heart
I worry that I will always fail
I cry when I'm lonely and listless inside
I am an innocent and malleable child
I understand they're not superior to me
I say I love my life, but truly,
I dream of something so much better
I try to change my point of view
I hope someone will hold my fragile hand
I am an innocent and malleable child
Courtney Roach
September 21, 2004
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PALM OF YOUR HEART
The sun is rising
Moon is falling
Tear me away from your past
For I shall never know what you hold
In the palm of your heart
Courtney Roach
September 21, 2004
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WINDOWLESS
I stare through the darkness
Looking for something windowless
Carry me further
Carry a little less pain
And if I can stand just one more day
I'd stand it next to you
I see the starlight in the sky
It will guide me through now doorway
Deaf in the silence
Blind in the blackness
And if I can stand just one more day
I'd stand it next to you
Courtney Roach
September 21, 2004
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CAGED
Autumn leaves crushed between my fingers
Snow doused on my cheek
I wonder why you told me lies
And made my blue eyes bleed
My mind is caged
Boxed in this world
My fingers are stapled to my toes
I can twist and bend and fold in knots
But I will never break in half
Courtney Roach
September 22, 2004
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IN YOUR POCKET
Hypnotized by your impulsive creativity
Held in your hands by your replusive intricacy
Hiding my face with your eyes
You're hiding in the dark night skies
Raining down from heaven to hell
There's nothing for your lips to tell
Your loyalty means nothing to me
It's just the way my mind wants to see
Captivated in this crystal ball
Running into these empty walls
You pick me up and place me
In your pocket to erase me
But I will never go away
For I will be here every day
Courtney Roach
September 22, 2004
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INVISIBLE
You say your shadow is invinsible
But you don't know who you are
You say that I'm invisible
Because you don't know who I am
Courtney Roach
September 22, 2004
